I got a good dose of mommy guilt today and it doesn’t feel so good.
Normally, I let my “mommy fails” roll off my back. I mean, come on….we can’t be perfect parents all the time. Besides, there is no such thing as perfect parenting anyway. Still, there are good parenting moments and not so good parenting moments and today, I fell into the “not so good” zone.
This morning Camryn woke up complaining that she didn’t feel well. I took her temperature, it was normal. Still, she kept saying that she was achy and her tummy hurt….blah, blah, blah. Honestly, I thought she was trying to pull a fast one on me. She had played pretty hard the night before and many times when she does that, she will be sore the next day. Even though Liam had been sick(with a fever!!!) earlier in the week, I just assumed it was nothing.
But maybe that isn’t really true. Maybe I wanted to pretend it was nothing because I also had to be at school and if she missed, I missed. I already had to sit out a day this week to stay home with Liam and that put me behind on quite a bit of information in that class. My professor for this particular class also counts attendance as part of your grade so I was stressing a little bit. Anywayyyy, to make a long(er) story short, I told her that if she was faking and made me miss class due to it, I would take something major away from her……something major like trick or treating. Okay, that right there was so unfair of me.
We all went off to school and since I never heard from the school nurse, I assumed I was right. She hadn’t wanted to go to school but once she got there she was fine. Wrong!! At after school pickup, as soon as I saw her little face, I knew something was wrong. I felt Camryns forehead and it was definitely warm. Groan. The guilt started setting in……
I asked why she stayed at school all day when she truly didn’t feel well and with a shaky, exhausted voice she said,“I didn’t want to have trick or treating taken away from me”. My heart sank. Right there, I almost cried.
I explained to her that in the future if she is sick that it’s okay to go to the nurses office. I felt so bad. No, I still feel so bad. I handled this situation wrong on so many levels. It’s hard though because this whole going back to school thing is new for me. For the last four years I have been there for my children no matter what. I stayed home for situations like this and now that our current situation has changed, there is going to be a learning curve involved I suppose.
Still, it sucks. Being a mommy is the best and worst job at the same time. Best because of the love that fills your heart for these little beings and bad because you have to worry all the time that you are somehow going to screw them up.
But you know, as crappy as I feel for sending her to school sick, it also made me proud of her, too. While she didn’t feel well, she stuck it out for something that was really important to her. If nothing else, my parenting fail maybe helped build a little character in that sweet heart of an 8-year-old!!! At least I tell myself this in order to not eat about a million of these.
Yep, this happened tonight to make myself feel better about the whole thing. Emotional eating at it’s finest, people!!!
But really, why are the peanut butter cup shapes so much better than the original ones?!
On a topic unrelated to mommy-hood but something I am just as bad at(decorating!! and that was a joke :-)) I decided to start sprucing up the casa a little bit. Trust me, I am a much worse decorator than I am mom. It’s not that I have a badly decorated house so much as a sparsely decorated house. That and I tend to stick to very basic, classic pieces. However, I only do that because it is hard to screw that up!! Slowly but surely, I have started adding a bit of color and interest to my decor, kind of like these new throw pillows.
Just so you now, they aren’t supposed to all match. That’s the cool part about it….in case you didn’t know.
I also got this piece to put on a large wall that just screams “decorate me”!! I wasn’t 100% sure about it at the store but the fact that it was on clearance for $35 at Target sold me.
And that’s all I’ve got folks!!!
How do you handle mom/relationship guilt?
Do you consider yourself to be decorating savvy? What is your favorite style?
Recently, I have discovered I enjoy a very eclectic look, however, my house doesn’t show that much at all. I’m working on it!!